Memories pay dividends too
I recently had a call from a client we'll call Clare. Her husband Ben had sadly passed away and she was going through the necessary paperwork and processes that come following the loss of a loved one.
I’d worked closely with Ben for many years. He took charge of the finances, while Clare managed other aspects of their lives. When he passed, I expected her to comment on how little she had to worry about money going forward. Ben’s number one priority had always been to ensure she would be covered in this way. Life insurance, tax efficiency, dividend-paying investments - we’d planned it all.
But all Clare could talk about was how easy everything was to find. Ben had laid it all out for her, meaning she could focus on remembering him and their time together, instead of stressing about legalities.
The memories Ben and Clare had created paid even greater dividends than any investments I’d set up for them. This was music to my ears.
Experiences gain value over time
A few years ago, I discovered a book that I’d love every client would read. ‘Die With Zero’ by Bill Perkins encourages us to spend our money while we’re young enough to enjoy it. When we’re ‘too old’ to go backpacking and paragliding, he says we must give as much of our money away as possible. Dying with large amounts of money in savings and investments, Bill argues, is a waste of our precious ‘life energy’.
He says: “Unlike material possessions, which seem exciting at the beginning but often depreciate quickly, experiences actually gain in value over time. They pay what I call a memory dividend.”
He likens memories to more traditional types of investment and explains that investments are simply mechanisms for generating future memories: “When you have an experience, you get that current, in-the-moment enjoyment, but you also form memories that you get to live later.
“You might hear a favorite song, get a whiff of a familiar scent, look at an old photo, and suddenly your memory's triggered and you are reliving that experience.
“The recollection may bring you just a tiny fraction of the enjoyment that the original experience did, but those memories add up to make you who you are.”
Experiences pay better than money in the bank
Back in 2009 we went on a family trip to the US, exploring San Francisco, LA and Las Vegas over the course of a few weeks.
My daughter was obsessed with The Hills at the time, so much of the trip was spent visiting various filming locations. I could appreciate Warner Brothers Studios, but when the time came to explore Wilshire Boulevard, I wasn’t sure what the fuss was about.
If you’ve got kids yourself, I’m sure you’ll be used to visiting all sorts of places that you’d rather not be. You just want to make them happy.
By the time it was my turn to choose an activity (a Grand Canyon helicopter tour), my wife and daughter were exhausted. They reassured me that they wouldn’t begrudge me going on the trip alone. It was an experience I’d looked forward to for years, and they were happy enough lying by the pool.
I remember umming and ahhing about the price. The tour was easily the most expensive activity on our itinerary, so it felt self-indulgent and wasteful to spend such a hefty sum on an experience only I would enjoy.
You’ll be glad to hear I went anyway. Looking back, I don’t remember how much it actually cost. What I do remember is going over the Grand Canyon, flying over Hoover Dam, seeing black stallions running beneath me, and landing in the breathtaking Joshua Tree.
How do you want to be remembered?
In ‘Die With Zero’, Perkins repeatedly talks about the importance of forming memories with your loved ones. Something that, on the face of it, I failed to do on the Grand Canyon tour.
But rather than making me feel guilty for abandoning my family to go galivanting in the clouds, one quote in particular reassured me I’d done the right thing: “Just as you’re trying to form memories of times with your kids, it makes sense to want your kids to form memories of you. [...] So how do you want your kids to remember you?”
As you can probably imagine, when I returned from the helicopter tour I couldn’t stop talking about it. Thankfully, my family were only too happy to listen as I talked them through each photo I’d taken on my digital camera.
It turns out they didn’t have to be there. Seeing me burst into our hotel room full of joy and adrenaline was enough to implant a core memory in their brains, as well as mine.
If my daughter takes anything from the trip that she didn’t go on, I hope it’s that you shouldn’t miss out on lifechanging adventures simply because it comes with a price tag, or you have no one to go with.